Day 28 - Teach me to number my days

I went to a different church from my own this morning, and …drum roll…in keeping with the theme of 30 days to live the message happened to be "Show me, O Lord, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life.” Psa 39:4

This, for me, may be getting a little spooky at this point.

During the service, clips from the movie, The Bucket List, were used to illustrate what matters most in life – relationships with God and relationships with people. (I always find it remarkable when Hollywood swims in deep waters without a political agenda, btw.)

There are two approaches in the movie of two dying men. One pursues pleasure and the other, a deeper reason for life and restoration of relationships.

The idea of cramming in as much wild and unimaginable pleasure possible if you knew you only had a short time to live, vs. pursuit of meaningful relationships, more fulfilling things, or restoration of all you have wrecked during your life is an interesting debate. Pursuit of self? Or pursuit of others and the meaning of life?

Everyone, of course, will say the latter of the two is the more noble pursuit. How many of us though, because we don’t regularly face the fact we are dying (whether it be in 50 years or 30 days) unconsciously live for self?

On Saturday, while trying to filter my daily activities through the question, “What would I do if I only had 30 days to live?” I found myself making judgments about little things, “This person I just tied in meeting at the intersection – should I dart out to be first, because, hey – I’ve only got 30 days to live! I have to get going!” Or do I, in a sense exhale and recognize it doesn’t really matter? Wave them forward and wait two minutes longer. Ponder this may be the last time I tie someone at an intersection…

Or on the way to Kansas City, my mom told me I was tailgating someone too close. Do I stick with my usual reaction of getting really annoyed? Or do I just look at her, tell her I love her and let it go?

I decided under the 30-day scenario, she matters more than my ego. I love her deeply and why in the world would I spend my few days with her being annoyed?

So on day 28, I want the answer to be others are first in my life. When I’m not first it opens the door for others to sit deep in my heart. It creates space in my soul for God to come in and take root.